Crazy for Crust

Valentine Oreo Bark

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Because I can eat Oreo Bark all year long, I decided to make a Valentine version. Doesn’t that make you happy??

Valentine Oreo Bark

As Jordan gets older it’s getting harder to shield her from inappropriate things on TV and radio. Actually, it’s not getting harder so much as she’s getting smarter and she listens to and sees everything.

When she was 3 we could rock out to “I’m Sexy and I Know It” and she just thought the beat was fun. Now an Ariana Grande song comes on the radio and she starts singing along and I really listen and I cringe.

When she was 4 we’d watch the red carpet shows and she’d ooh and ahhh and point out the pretty dresses. Now, thanks to the stylists of people like Jennifer Lopez and Jennifer Anniston the term “plunging neckline” has a new meaning and I have to field questions like “MOM! HER BOOBS ARE SHOWING!” and then I have to change the channel and watch Liv & Maddie again.

There are some parents out there who shield their kids from everything. They only watch Disney Jr. and shows with theme songs that make you want to murder someone. They only listen to kid CDs or classical music in the car.

I’m not that person. I never have been, and I never will be. I want to listen to pop music in the car and by gosh, I’m going too. We’re going to watch Amazing Race and Shark Tank as a family, and every once in awhile I’ll have to mute the boy commercial and I’m okay with that.

But something I’d never thought I’d have to police? Conversation Hearts. Have you read some of them lately?

Conversation Hearts for Valentine's Day Bark

While I was making this bark I was going through and reading some of the sayings. The normal, cute ones were there:

XOXO

YOU ROCK

FIRST KISS

SOUL MATE

I {HEART} YOU

And then I found these:

TOO HOT.

I’M SURE.

And best one?

DON’T TELL.

I checked the bag of seemingly innocent conversation hearts I got at Walmart and there was no XXX rating on the package.

Seriously? DON’T TELL? TOO HOT? I’m sorry, but WTH? KIDS eat these things. Young kids. Preschoolers and Kindergarteners. 4th graders who are starting to become aware of boys and bodies. It’s just…wrong.

Okay, I’ll get off my soapbox now. Let’s talk Valentine’s Day Oreo Bark.

Oreos for Oreo Bark

It’s full of Oreos, obviously.

If you remember, a few years ago, I posted this Peppermint Oreo Bark recipe. It was Jordan’s brainchild: layers of milk chocolate, chopped Oreos, white chocolate, and crushed candy canes. She considers it her invention and she makes it several times every holiday. She can even make it herself without any help from me.

She wanted a Valentine version, so I gave it to her. But I tried to weed out the less than PG conversation hearts. (Obviously I missed a few.)

Valentine Oreo Bark is the perfect treat to give on Valentine's Day! Layers of white and milk chocolate sandwich Oreo cookies and conversation hearts.

This bark has 4 ingredients (5 if you add sprinkles) and is ready in less than 30 minutes. Also? If you’re not careful it can disappear in less than that amount of time too. Ahem.

A few notes about the recipe:

  • I used Candiquik (almond bark, candy melts, etc.) when making this bark. I’ve also use chocolate and white chocolate chips in the past. You can use either one, but I decided to go the almond bark route because I’ve had the hardest time lately melting chocolate chips. I do it all the time but the last several batches I’ve done for different recipes have given me trouble, especially white chocolate. I didn’t want to have to throw anything away, so I went the sure thing route.
  • If you use chocolate and/or white chocolate chips instead of the melting candy, be sure to add 1-2 teaspoons of vegetable oil or Crisco in the bowl when you’re melting. Also, make sure and melt the chocolate at 50% power in increments of 30 seconds, stirring well between each. If you have trouble, try a different kind of bowl. I find that, for my microwave, clear glass bowls or those ziploc reusable sealable containers work best.
  • You can use any kind of Oreo you want. Regular, double stuff, Golden…use your favorite.
  • You can skip the conversation hearts and just do sprinkles, if you want. Anything heart and pink and red will SCREAM Valentine’s Day.
  • Get this out of your house STAT or you’ll eat it all.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

Valentine Oreo Bark

DON’T TELL but I’m CRAZY 4 U. 🙂

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Valentine Oreo Bark

Prep Time:
5 mins
Cook Time:
5 mins
Oreos, chocolate, and conversation hearts. This bark will be a hit this Valentine's Day!

Ingredients

  • 10 Oreos — coarsely chopped
  • 8 ounces chocolate Candiquik — candy melts, or chocolate chips (see note)
  • 8 ounces vanilla Candiquik — candy melts, or white chocolate chips (see note)
  • 1/2 cup conversation heart candies
  • Valentine Sprinkles — optional

Instructions

  1. Line a cookie sheet with wax paper.
  2. Add chocolate candy to a microwave safe bowl and heat in 30 second increments, stirring after each, until melted and smooth. Pour onto prepared cookie sheet and spread flat, into an approximately 7x10 rectangle. Sprinkle with chopped Oreos. Chill for 10 minutes.
  3. Add white chocolate to a microwave safe bowl and heat on 50% power in 30 second increments, stirring after each, until melted and smooth. (I use 50% power for white chocolate because it’s so temperamental!) Pour over Oreos and spread to the edges of the milk chocolate. Sprinkle with chopped conversation hearts and sprinkles. Chill until set, break into pieces and serve or package to give!

Click here for my complete list of Valentine’s Day Recipes!

Valentine’s Fudge

Valentine's Day Layered Fudge (3 of 4)w

Teacher Valentine Printable

valentine-heart-teacher-printable1 words

Candy Buttons

candy buttons 3 words

Sweets from friends:
Valentine’s Bark by Lil’ Luna
Valentine Conversation Heart Bark by Bake at 350
Valentine’s Day Chocolate Bark by Crunchy Creamy Sweet

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56 comments

  1. And some of the candy hearts have hashtags now! I’m kind of horrified. On the one hand, my not-mom self finds it kind of funny. But my mom self is shaking her head.
    This bark looks so cute, and there are Oreos. And candy hearts. I’m sold!

  2. This oreo bark is adorable, Dorothy! I love the conversation hearts in here. Such a fun and festive treat, not to mention delicious, too! Pinned!

  3. I haven’t had any of those hearts in like….20 years!  I had no idea Too Hot and Don’t Tell are now making the rounds you know, for your average 6 year old. Nice. Ugh! I love that last pic with the yellow Crazy For U one…it’s perfect for your site!

  4. GAH!  X rated conversation hearts that don’t say x rated? What is this world coming to!
    I don’t LOVE Oreos (hate me) but I LOVE them i n bark form, and this is just too cute! Pinning!

  5. Oreos, chocolate, sprinkles! What a lovely, simple recipe for Valentine’s Day! Automatic win. I love conversation hearts; although, I pick out the purple, pink, and green ones because they taste the best. 

    It’s definitely hard to avoid pop culture in a world that’s inundated with social media and technology. I’m glad that you’re not totally shielding Jordan; she seems like a smart cookie! In my adult life, I’ve moved away from the radio and found fun in discovering new bands through Spotify that are unique and appropriate. Although “All About That Base” will forever be stuck in my head.  

  6. Wow – I had no idea that conversation hearts have gotten so risque’ these days. I love that you incorporated them into your Oreo bark – what a fun and fantastic idea!

  7. I love this bark! I can’t even remember the last time I had conversation hearts. I can’t believe they think those couple of sayings are appropriate for young kids! Craziness!

  8. I seriously have not purchased conversation hearts in ages ..  I had no idea. .  and sister, I hear you. .  I have two young and impressionable girls . . I also let my girls watch TV and listen to the radio. .  yeah, I don’t want to shield them from everything but I do try with the questionable things . . and it’s so funny you mention the red carpet and what the celebs are wearing these days. .  when my youngest sees anything that shows too much skin, it’s “mom, she’s naked!” we were watching the grammy’s last night. .  and thankfully there wasn’t anything too risqué.  (surprisingly!) well except maybe what Nicki Minaj was wearing but my kids didn’t see that. 😛 

  9. What a pretty recipe, I need to make something special this year with my girlies =) Disney channel is a big no no for me, cartoons/kids shows in general just drive me bonkers, so yes, my kids are deprived. I don’t even watch that much t.v., guess I have a short attention span!  But since the average pre-schoolers watches over 5000 hours of t.v. I guess it’s not such a bad thing. They’ll see a documentary on alligators and think it’s amazing. Mean mommy here! 

  10. I love this bark, it is so cute. Yeah, those conversation hearts are a bit OTT for younger children, sheesh! Oreos are made for bark and this would be the most perfect gift to a loved one. 

  11. My oldest daughter is only five, and I am so not looking forward to her growing up and being exposed to all that’s out there in the world. I agree with you that we can’t and shouldn’t try to shield our kids from everything, but rather treat things as teaching moments. This Valentine bark is so cute! It would make a perfect Valentine’s gift!

  12. That’s crazy!  I never knew that some risky hearts are in the mix.  I really don’t like the “don’t tell”…a little creepy if you ask me!  I do love the “sup girl” one.  When did that get in the mix?  That’s hilarious.  The bark is adorable 🙂

  13. I love conversation hearts and yes, I have noticed that many of the sayings are not what they were when we were kids but Oh well, they still look pretty and taste good!  Let’s hope they don’t get any racier as the years go on.  I would totally eat this whole batch of oreo bark so yes, I would have to get it out of my house asap!!  🙂

  14. Oh my gosh, that is just crazy! I just got conversation hearts not too long ago and need to double check my batch now. This bark looks so cute! So perfect for Valentine’s Day!

  15. Wow I had no clue.  I haven’t purchased conversation hearts in forever (not a big fan of them, sorry) but my kids will eat anything.  I try to shield our kids from the really bad stuff but I can’t hide them from everything or we wouldn’t even be shopping at Wal-Mart!  Love this bark though–it looks so pretty.  Pinned!

  16. Hahaha, I especially love the one that says “Sup babe” — do people still say “sup”? Isn’t that like a 90’s or early 2000’s kind of thing? Lol. YES to the Oreo bark year round!

  17. I am a grandmother following your site for the past few months and absolutely love it and you. I am going to make this bark for my grandchildren but will definitely make certain that I police the candy hearts. So sad that we have to do it.

  18. Ha ha I’ve missed reading your blog Dorothy, doesn’t everyone eat oreo bark all year? 🙂 

  19. Oh yes. YES. You know Haley is only 1 year behind Jordan, and I’m feeling this, too. Sometimes when I watch her dance routine I have to take a deep breath. No 9 year old should be grinding like that! Ugh. What can we do? Just keep the dialogue open and honest and talk to them con.stant.ly about what’s appropriate and what’s not. And HELLO, not let them read conversation hearts. What the hell???

  20. WHAAA??? when did conversation hearts get so risque??!!! Ugh and ick!

    Well. anyway. this bark is tasty-licious at least! love oreo bark!

  21. Hi Dorothy,
    “They only watch Disney Jr. and shows with theme songs that make you want to murder someone.” HAHA you made me laugh. I dont want to be a parent who shields their child from everything…but what’s in the media is so disgusting. I dont want to sound like a prude, but how is my 6 yr old girl going to react to the Kardashians of the world. I cringe!!

    BTW, in the news it said your area is getting tons of rainfall, I live about 7 hours south of you. Gosh darn it, it’s warm already. 🙁

    have a great week

    • Right? I love social media and reality TV but it’s getting a little ridiculous! And yeah, we got slammed yesterday. Today it’s been nice, supposed to be 70 by this weekend!

  22. You should see a 3yo boy giggle when you read what’s on a conversation heart that you just gave him! lol
    I could eat this bark everyday too! Looks fantastic! Pinning!!
    Thanks for linking up to my bark, Dorothy! 

  23. I have a 9-year old (boy) so I relate to a lot of what you’re saying!  I will just focus on the sweetest of Valentine’s Day and feast on delicious treats like your Oreo bark.  It looks wonderful!

  24. HA! Can we talk about the “Sup Babe” one I spy? 

  25. What on earth – even Miranda Lambert had to be “beeped” at the Grammy Awards last night, and she is a country singer!  Some  lyrics on the radio these days make me cringe (and quickly reach for the “change channel” button), but even back in the ’60’s there were some inappropriate lyrics (the Beatles singing “I’d rather see you dead, little girl, than to see you with another man”) that kids would happily and cluelessly sing along with.

  26. I like to imagine that all these candy hearts are being made in Chinese factories where no one knows what any of them are supposed to say! I’m living in Korea now, and I see CRAZY examples of “American English” all the time. Anyway, maybe that could make you feel better…or be some sad commentary on the realities of globalization. Either way, that’s some beautiful bark!

  27. Wow, can’t believe the conversation heart “Too hot”?!?! That’s not kid friendly!! Jeex, nothing is sacred anymore. This bark though? Insanely cute and I love the combination of sweets, biscuits and chocolate! I would eat this all, for sure!

  28. This bark is gorgeous, Dorothy! And who knew that conversation hearts have gotten so dirty?! Honestly, the “don’t tell” one is even kind of creepy!

  29. Looks delicious!!

  30. I love this bark Dorothy! 🙂 Great minds! But I really love your oreo addition – yum! And I hear you on the conversation hearts. Why did they have to get so grown up and trendy? Have you seen the hashtag ones? I love a good hashtag, but can kids just be kids? 🙂 

  31. Great idea and the hearts give the bark an extra special touch.

  32. For real! I always thought that some of the phrases on conversation hearts were a bit iffy for the intelligent little children eating them. Haha! But gosh, this bark looks epic. What dessert couldn’t be epic where Oreos and candy hearts fall in love and get married? (Wow I just made a Valentine’s Day pun. Someone save me.)

  33. I love these hearts!! I don’t really see them much over here in the UK, bu I am thinking I might need to try to see what I can find and makes this bark! Looks delicious! 

  34. I too have been having troubles melting chocolate chips, white chips especially. What gives? Thank goodness for almond bark! 

  35. Such an adorable idea especially to give as a gift to friends! Love it!

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